You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
