"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize