Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
