Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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