I think im going to throw up on grandma
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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