Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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