The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
