I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
