so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you had me at cake vodka
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
