Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
