If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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