I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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