Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
