I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize