real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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