I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
