Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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