its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
