Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
