let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
