I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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