i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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