no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
People in love make me want to vomit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
