My nipple is on Facebook.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
