i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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