would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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