so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
