This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
