his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
