This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
