I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
