Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
