It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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