someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
