Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
