He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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