AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
