I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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