i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
