I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
