Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
