At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Drake has all the answers
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
