He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
