Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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