1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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