So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
