where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
