At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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