My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
