I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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