there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
