We're like a lot better than the average bears
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
