First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
