I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
