YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
