im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
