My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
