Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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