Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
