So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
