Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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