I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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