Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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