Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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